recently I've been watching a drama.i felt that it really applied to me and i could really relate to this guy's story. where everybody is moving forward, i'm stuck where i am. the only thing that i can do is look from afar. every time you do or say something that is unfamiliar to me, i'm stumped. as time goes by, i can only look from afar and smile at you. no matter what we do, friendship does change. no matter how unwilling we are. as much as we said that we'll be best friends forever. old ties fades away with time, while new ones are forged again. even though we're not as close as how we used to be, it is nice to see u doing well that at least i can smile and at least i can rest my heart and know that you'll be fine wherever u are. just as how i will try to find a place that truly belongs to me. just a little wish from me to my old friend.
with age and experience, I've grown wiser. I've learnt that letting that person go is the best choice for my friend and also me. there was a time when i naively thought that our friendship would remain the same. once, twice and now thrice. I've experienced it time and again, a friend finding other greener pastures.
i wish u all the best with all my heart. but alas i write with a tear in my heart.
perhaps its because its extremely difficult for me to make friends. it was never easy for me as for others to make friends quickly in a new environment. that probably why its especially difficult for me to let go and why i hold onto it so tightly.
i always wondered why did the rest of my friends always had somebody to accompany them to their next stages of their life? why didn't i have anybody accompanying me, maybe it would have been easier on me. but it was always the same. i was always alone to advance to the next stage. as much as my road might seem so bright, where there is light, there would always be a shadow.
but maybe all this experience is for me to learn how to independent. to let me learn how to not stick on too closely or i'll have to endure all the the pain again in the other round. its like ur hand touching onto something hot and u learn how to let go so as to get get burned.
sometimes, i think im just specifically making things difficult for me. why did i have to choose a route so unlike the rest? but its after all my life that i would have to live in the end. nn not others living it for me. no regrets, but still all these regrets. the irony life is. you have to give in order to receive. i've given so much, so when is it my turn to receive?
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