hmmm.. today's mood isnt all that good. cause i did seriously VERY badly for exams this EOY! i only did well for my chem which was like.... to top it off we had band today... me and roxie were just thinking of excuses not to go for band for the whole entire lesson we were crapping all the way. but in the end we still decided to go for band anyways... i mean i didnt want to scold any unsuspecting junior and let he/she take my wrath just beacause i was in a bad mood but the band would definitely not accept a reason like "im not in the mood to go for band cause i did badly for my exams" they'll probably be telling u back "why didnt u study/work harder then?" which is so totally true. i was practically a wreck in band.. i gave out wrong scores and just pratically zoned out.... i just feel so.... its like even after studying for so long i did'nt make it... it makes me wonder how much more i must give in cause i noe im already at my brink im afraid that i would just go bonkers one day... maybe im already on my way there... just feeling so depressed right now. there are a few people that i feel so sorry towards.. mainly my math tutor and my mom... i just feel that i've let them down! ... carelessness really makes me so pissed. if i hadnt been careless i would have made the mark if i had done this and not watched the telly i would have dont it if i had not napped so much and studied i might have actually made it but i can only say and wonder about the "what ifs"
i do noe that i have to make a change in my life. but i just wanna say to my mom and my tutor that "I AM SO SORRY!" really not in the mood now. im just gonna sleep early tonight and try to calm myself down. NIGHTS!
P.S. : for those who did well just try not to rub it into my face or i might actually really punch u in the face.and in my mood like this i'll say there's a 99.9999999999% that i might actually do it.
