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HI(: pamela's blog here. leave if u're a bitch, hypocrite or both of them combined.

Monday, May 9, 2011

u'll do well, i'm sure of that.
so im gonna make sure that i do well too.


1:15 AM

recently I've been watching a drama.
i felt that it really applied to me and i could really relate to this guy's story.
where everybody is moving forward, i'm stuck where i am.
the only thing that i can do is look from afar.
every time you do or say something that is unfamiliar to me, i'm stumped.
as time goes by, i can only look from afar and smile at you.
no matter what we do, friendship does change.
no matter how unwilling we are.
as much as we said that we'll be best friends forever.
old ties fades away with time, while new ones are forged again.
even though we're not as close as how we used to be,
it is nice to see u doing well that at least i can smile and at least i can rest my heart and know that you'll be fine wherever u are.
just as how i will try to find a place that truly belongs to me.
just a little wish from me to my old friend.

with age and experience, I've grown wiser.
I've learnt that letting that person go is the best choice for my friend and also me.
there was a time when i naively thought that our friendship would remain the same.
once, twice and now thrice.
I've experienced it time and again,
a friend finding other greener pastures.

i wish u all the best with all my heart.
but alas i write with a tear in my heart.

perhaps its because its extremely difficult for me to make friends.
it was never easy for me as for others to make friends quickly in a new environment.
that probably why its especially difficult for me to let go and why i hold onto it so tightly.

i always wondered why did the rest of my friends always had somebody to accompany them to their next stages of their life?
why didn't i have anybody accompanying me, maybe it would have been easier on me.
but it was always the same.
i was always alone to advance to the next stage.
as much as my road might seem so bright, where there is light, there would always be a shadow.

but maybe all this experience is for me to learn how to independent.
to let me learn how to not stick on too closely or i'll have to endure all the the pain again in the other round.
its like ur hand touching onto something hot and u learn how to let go so as to get get burned.

sometimes, i think im just specifically making things difficult for me.
why did i have to choose a route so unlike the rest?
but its after all my life that i would have to live in the end.
nn not others living it for me.
no regrets, but still all these regrets.
the irony life is.
you have to give in order to receive.
i've given so much, so when is it my turn to receive?



1:10 AM
Sunday, May 8, 2011

just came back home from watching a movie " the fast and furious 5" with rox nn LK.
rox kept kept KEPT on commenting on "the rock"
(i seriously have no idea whats his real name) sweating.
i was like "if i cld sweat that much nn still look that good, i'll be sweating an ocean for the rest of my life!"
the show had a good mix of explosives, hot girls, hot buff guys (two EXTREMELY buff guys may i add ^.^), hot guys, car racing, innovative plans!
just not enough car racing for me though..
fast nn furious 4 had more car racing which was like totally for me!
i love car racing shows, hence my all-time fav show is initial-D.
i gotta watch it at least once a year!
its funny how i like boy stuff cause the other day me nn one of my guy friend saw this guy controlling this mini toy controlled car nn i commented
"HOW COOL IS THAT MAN!"
nn he looked at me strangely nn said
" this is the first time i heard a girl say that cars r cool!"
i mean how uncool can cars be!
i wld seriously like to try car racing, that is if my mom wld let me.
nn motor cycling,archery,house riding nn many more!
sssooo...
some guy things that i totally like.
1) i like playing starcraft! actually i dont just like, i TOTALLY adore!!! though im not that good at playing it, i like to watch ppl play though
(my brother thinks im weird not wanting to play but liking other ppl play)
nn my criteria for my future bf (if any) is that he must be good at playing starcraft!! LOL
2) like car racing movies nn cars in general ( though i have no idea whats the diff between a hondai nn mitsubishi!)
3)like to play/watch video games
4) like constructing stuff from scratch like building my own wooden shelf nn stuff.
nnn many more. super tired now so shall stop here.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS!! XP
especially to my darling mom, i cannot say more about my love for her man! my mom ruless!! like the entire world! xp


1:21 AM
Monday, April 18, 2011

looks like i gotta change my blogskin too... zzz.. where to look for good ones??


9:21 PM

WWWAAAAAHHH i havent blogged in A MILLION YEARS!
guess i sorta had the time seeing that i wasnt feeling well today. so i managed leave school a little earlier..
been watching this chinese show recently nn its called "the girl in blue".
i dunno why but its really really nice.
or maybe its just that the actors are extremely good.
cause the MAINS are now dating nn i totally feel lovey dovey even after watching finish the show.
it feels like im actually in love nn dating!
impossible but real.
LOL.
prob. dunno when i shall start blogging but im freakin happy that i didnt close down this blog.
i have NO idea whether anybody even looks at...
bbuuuttt.. its the one spot that i can rant and rave nn not look like a lunatic.
school's been harsh. my health harsher..
just wish i can just get well.. but i guess it doesnt work that way.
no matter how much i smile or laugh, it doesnt mean that im really happy.
i just hav to keep on promising myself that after suffering hell, thats when joy will really come.
i'll be able to stand up nnn get out of that hell hole feeling proud nn accomplished.
nn shout to that bitch " IN UR FACE!"
kekeke. XP


9:14 PM
Wednesday, September 8, 2010

if love is as complicated as the drama that im watching.
i rather not have anything.


11:26 PM
Friday, August 6, 2010

OMG! what is with the people nowadays?
who said that when u go to JC it automatically qualifies u that u have a bf?
family and friends are ALL ASKING!!
its annoying.
SERIOUSLY!

i SWEAR that if i ever get a bf.
I'LL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD!!
like i'll post it on facebook and here.
HAPPY!?!?!?!
omg
i cant even talk to a guy friend properly without ppl adding snide remarks.
slide ur own ass luh!
busybodies!


11:03 PM